I learned what No Shave November was in high school when every guy I knew slash every Jewish girl who got her lip waxed on the reg decided to grow a ferret on his/her face starting on November the first and ending on November the thirtieth. (Just kidding about the girls, maybe they had some other excuse or something.) These woodland critter-seeming mustaches and sideburns poked their way through the pores of teenaged boys far and wide in what I understood to be an age old tradition used as an excuse to prove that someone had, in fact, finally hit puberty. Only a small handful of people were actually capable of sprouting a full beard back then. Regardless, facial hair made a guest appearance for one month of the year.
These guys shave eleven months for one. Soon, I learned that this tradition would haunt me to college. Oh, yes. No Shave November is definitely a “between the ages of fourteen and twenty five” thing. But this year, for the first time, I heard formerly known No Shave November referred to instead of “Movember.” And my reaction was: WTF is this??????
When someone says “Movember” I imagined two things: 1) moving trucks, and 2)
me someone being like “put some mo’ food on my plate” or “mo’ money mo’ problems.” It turned out that I was COMPLETELY fifty shades of wrong. Not only is Movember a (bad) combination of the words “mustache” and “November,” but it’s a charity event. Who knew?
According to the Movember Foundation, which is also a thing I guess, men are supposed to grow mustaches during the month of November to, and I quote, “change the face of men’s health.” I am really ambivalent about this as a legitimate cause. The Foundation throws “Gala Partés” around the world, charging an entry fee (that of which is donated to men’s health causes) and encouraging Movember-related costume contests. So here’s the question we’re all wondering: who comes dressed up as an un-manscaped penis?
And here’s what every girl is thinking: is there any way for me to use this as an excuse to not shave my legs?