An Open Letter By Barbie (that’s right… Barbie)Posted: January 20, 2014
It would be a sin for me to hog all of the amazing shit I find on the internet for myself. New segment: Shit You Should Read. Because you really, really should.
We know a lot about Barbie. Her boyfriend is Ken, her BFF is Teresa. She loves a good beach party and her dwarfish younger sister is Kelly. What we didn’t realize about Barbie is that she doesn’t have a vagina, and what we didn’t know about Barbie is that she’s pretty pissed about it.
In FYD fashion, HuffPost threw up an open letter on their blog from Barbie about body image. We discussed open letters last week because most of them are 99% pointless and 100% overdone in an effort to rebel against the plights of our generation. But to our surprise, Barbie did it well. Here’s some of our fav lines from the piece:
“I have no vagina. You probably know this already (I know your perverted younger brothers know this as well). This is one of the hardest things for me to live with.”
“I wish I looked more like She-Ra or Wonder Woman. They always go to Crossfit together and never invite me.”
“Ken and I have had a rough relationship for many years. He does not have a penis.”
“I do not eat much because I am usually in a box, and then there is that whole being made of plastic thing.”
And Barbie closes with an ode to her glitzy BRATZ (the doll version of betches)… “My body might not be realistic for most, and that is OK. That is actually better than OK. Because I am sure that some young women have talents that most do not have. Some have sparkling eyes that most others do not have.”
Read the whole letter here.