On Concert Etiquette

Going to concerts has always been and will always be a huge part of my life. I’ve seen over sixty, and that’s not counting the dozens of shows at the small indie venue my extended family used to own. My dad was a Deadhead and won my mom over by picking up her righty acoustic guitar, flipping it upside down (he was a lefty), and serenading her in her college apartment. Without music, there’s a legitimate chance I wouldn’t even be here right now.

That being said, I figured it was time I did a post on concerts. I was having a lot of trouble deciding which angle I should take because the wealth of information I could share about shows is enough to fill my first book. After some hefty brainstorming and a hefty hangover, I came up with an idea. This week, I wanted to do things a little differently.

Last night, I went to Kanye West at Madison Square Garden. It was nothing short of a religious experience. This nice Jewish girl is now a firm believer that Jesus–rather, Yeezus–walks (metaphorically, of course… don’t fret, Rabbi). Since I’ve been to so many shows in the first quarter of my life, I’ve become accustomed to creating the perfect concert-going experience. My night with Kanye was perfect. But I wondered… if FYDers were in my shoes, what would they do? I sent out a little Google survey to everyone I knew and had as many people as possible anonymously fill out answers to a few questions I conjured up. First, I’m going to list you the questions followed by my fav reader responses. Then, I’ll answer the questions from my POV, revealing how shit actually went down last night. Look at me, blogging on the edge. Trippy.

"I just talked to Jesus, he said whaddup fro-yo" --Kanye West, I Am A God

“I just talked to Jesus, he said whaddup fro-yo” –Kanye West, I Am A God

1. I’m going to a Kanye West concert. What should I wear/how should I look?
“HOT! look like Kim K he likes that” –female, 18
“All black, everything. Very chic, but then again, you are going to be surrounded by thousands of people that all think Kanye is next coming of Christ, so what you wear won’t really matter, cuz no one will notice.” –female, 18
“jeans converse tee” –female, 18 [This made me LOL]
“jeans, comfortable but cool heeled boots, dark top, leather jacket” –female, 18
“You know how much I love that fur vest…” –supposedly female, 18, but I think this is actually my mom
And the best response… “I dont know i wouldnt go to a kanye west concert. I would however know what to where to a zac brown band concert. A cowboy hat” –male, 19

2. Should I go to the concert intoxicated?
“YESSS DUH” –female, 18
“intoxicated with alcohol? no. should you be fucked up on molly? yes.” –female, 18
“yes kayne sucks so being drunk would make it better” –female, 18 [Kanye doesn’t suck, anon 18 year old female]
“Maybe a little” –female, 18
And the best response… “intoxicated is a strong word. Do whatever you feel the need to do to enjoy yourself, whether that includes alcohol or not.” –female, 18

3. Should I go to the concert intoxicated?
Yes, I repeated the same question twice. It’s because I went to the concert intoxicated. Just kidding, it’s because I don’t know how to make a Google survey.

4. If I haven’t bought my tickets yet, where should I sit or stand? Why?
“In close enough proximity to snap a quality insta pic, but not close enough to be spending absurd amounts of money for that ticket.” –female, 18 [Whoever you are, I love you]
“Stand because who wants to sit down when they’re drunk?” –female, 18
“where you can breath and DANCE DUH” –female, 18, who can’t spell breathe
“????? How are you there without a ticket?” –female, 18, who likes question marks
And the best response… “sit. on stage. because.” –female, 18

5. HELP! I don’t know any of the words. What should I do??? 
“i dont know how to respond to this” –male, 19
“You have plenty of time to memorize that shit. Worst case scenario, if you sing “watermelon” over and over it looks like you know all the words to everything.” –female, 18
“like right now this very second? you’re at the concert and you don’t know words? lol why. why would you go to a concert you don’t know the words to the songs to. um if it really matters that much to you, look it up on your phone? i’d just try to relax and enjoy the moment and dance or something. no point in trying to memorize the words now.” –female, 17, oh wow
“scream” –female, 18
And the best response… “vomit everywhere. no one will question you for not singing along” –female, 18

6. How should I go about making “concert friends?” How much true personal info should I give my “concert friends?” 
“oh lol i don’t know” –female, 17
“you dont make concert friends, just dance with random people” –female, 18
“not a lot just get stoned with them” –male, 19
And the best response… “do molly. no personal info, but do have sex with them.” –female, 18

7. What should I do if I get lost and my phone died? 
“Memorize the number of someone you are going to the concert with. That way, you can always call someone (or your mom).” –female, 18, but I really think it’s my mom
“Ask one of your concert friends to borrow their phone duh” –female, 17
“Borrow a normal looking person’s phone and call the really cute boy you’re obviously with.” –female, 18, YESSSS
“Cry and wander around and cry some more!” –female, 18
“pray” –female, 18
And the best response… “ask kanye for a charger” –female, 18

Now, here’s how it all happened frealz:

1. I’m going to a Kanye West concert. What should I wear/how should I look?
This girl nailed it: “jeans, comfortable but cool heeled boots, dark top, leather jacket” –female, 18. I wore black silk harem pants, suede heeled booties, a black bustier, and a moto jacket. All black everything. Always.

2. Should I go to the concert intoxicated?

3. Should I go to the concert intoxicated? 
Still hangin’ out up there.

4. If I haven’t bought my tickets yet, where should I sit or stand? Why? 
When you’re going to see someone like Yeezy, it’s GA or die. No brainer. Usually, it’s GA or die.

5. HELP! I don’t know any of the words. What should I do???
I happen to be wildly infatuated with Yeezus so I knew every word to every song. But if you don’t, just dance a lot and flaunt your tacky neon concert outfit.

6. How should I go about making “concert friends?” How much true personal info should I give my “concert friends?” 
How am I supposed to go about making concert friends if I’m too antisocial to make real friends? But when I do make concert friends, I sometimes tell them my name is Darcy. Don’t really know why.

7. What should I do if I get lost and my phone died? 
I didn’t get lost but my phone did die right after I ordered an Uber home (ugh). Then I tried to use a payphone and finally gave up on it after my seventh try–so millennial of me. Then I cried a little and took the last bus home. The end.
 



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