Flavor of the Week: Kimye

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are not only an entity: they are a superpower. They are the inspiration behind “Bound 2,” they are the parents of a cardinal direction (making Kim nothing other than Mother Nature). I would venture so far as to say that they are the voice of our generation, but neither of them are “hipster” or “offbeat” enough. Neither of them exploit their naked breasts and bodies for the sake of art enough to be that voice, either. Oh, wait. Just kidding, Kimmy.

This is acceptable because we’re all seen her boobs

Kanye West pursued Kim Kardashian after Kris Jenner decided that Kanye was the ideal “one”: he is the non-relative whose name starts with a K that grosses the most annual revenue. And we all know that Kim likes her men dark and handsome.

Some people are anti-Kanye because they don’t like his attitude and they think he’s out of his mind. It’s definitely valid to debate whether he actually is as psychotic as he makes himself seem or if it’s all an act; a split persona, if you will. Regardless, I don’t really care. I think that it’s genius. He’s the most ridiculous person I know (using the term “know” very lightly) and you’ve just gotta learn how to LOLZ along with him. I don’t know whether I really love Kim or not, as Khloe is everybody’s fav Kardashian (she gets the big beautiful woman points, if ya know what I mean), but I stalk her enough to be her BFF. Once, I saw Jonathan Cheban in East Hampton. It was the richest I’ve ever felt.

Kimye made news headlines this week for the greatest marriage proposal of all time. I was so pleasantly surprised to learn that for once, Kanye did something that wasn’t even remotely about him. For those of you that are unaware: he got the whole Kardashian Klan (what khaos that must have been) into the stadium where the San Fran Giants play. Then, brought Kim out to a screen that read “PLEEEASE MARRY MEEE!!!” Clearly, Kanye is unaware that we all stopped typing like that when AIM went out of style in the seventh grade. Anyway, he gave her a rock the size of my face. And to top it all off, he had a full-blown orchestra playing Lana del Rey’s “Young and Beautiful,” the theme song to my life. If you haven’t listened to the orchestra version of the Gatsby theme yet, then go do it now. It makes you feel like you’re being whisked away in a whirlwind with a bunch of leaves and flowers and some glowing light at the climax of a romantic film set in London.

Kanye, ya done well. Snaps for you.



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