Flavor of the Week: Boy Bands

It is shocking to me that America has always been so accepting of boy bands, yet so reluctant to accept gay marriage. Especially when gay men are stereotypically well groomed while boy band members are known for their Ramen noodle-resembling hair. Is this not the most confusing precedent ever set?????

We’re talking about you, Justin.

Nevertheless, boy bands are about as traditional as grilled chicken in a chopped salad. We have always loved them and we always will. However, the culture of the band of the boy has drastically changed. Once,  you could get any eight year-old male to cry themselves a river (ha, see what I did there?) at the sight of the Backstreet Boys or NSYNC. Do you see 21st century boys willing to throw themselves in front of a One Direction tour bus? No, you don’t, and there’s a reason for that.

Boy band culture is, unfortunately, on the decline. Once, boy bands were all about hair gel, harmonics, iconic CD covers, and brotherhood. There was certainly a specific AEPi-ness that held bands together like glue until they got too fat and too old–

(case in point: Joey Fat-one)

I mean, until they had “creative differences” that tore not only the bands apart but also the hearts of young boys and girls around the world. If boy bands were still as good as they once were, wouldn’t all kids still have a dedicated passion for them?

Besides, we liked boy bands for their music. Boy bands today, like One Direction, The Wanted, and Tegan and Sara (jk lol, I actually love Tegan and Sara) are worshipped at the same level as Hashem (BTW, happy Rosh y’all) because of their appearances. Think about it–were you ever sexually attracted to anyone in NSYNC or in the Backstreet Boys besides the obvious JT and Nick Carter? No, and don’t even try to defend that. You liked them for what boy band culture is all about–for their music.

I think that the era of the boy band has come to a close, and while I appreciate NSYNC’s attempt to resurrect the 90s at the VMAs, I saw it more as a blast to the past than an everlasting reunion. That’s why JT only let them sing a total of three words each–it wasn’t because JT is more talented or good looking than the rest of them, and it’s not because JT thinks that he’s better than them (HAHA OK)–it’s because that performance was just meant to be a gentle reminder of a better time; a time when toddlers didn’t have iPod touches and your favorite record was not platinum, but it was “black & blue.”



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