Flavor of the Week: Group Texts

You love them, you hate them, you love to hate them, and you hate to love them. Basically, we are just really really emotional about group texts. Whether you’re savvy with GroupMe, WhatsApp, or stick to the classic iMessage chat like I do, you are involved of at least two of them. You probably have one with your best best friends and then another with your bigger group of friends, and then a few elsewhere, give or take. We heart these chats for so many reasons. Convenience? Yes. But secretly tedious and often awkward? Also yes.

lol duh I’m in

I see it that group chats linger as the nostalgic descendants of AIM chat rooms. Nothing gave me a thrill quite like being in a, dare I say, coed chat room in elementary school. I loved how everyone’s screen name was a different color and how the intensity of a conversation about who had a crush on who make my blood pressure soar like a vanilla chai, not soy, from Dunkin. And even before chat rooms there were three-way phone calls, which I never really figured out. That was more of a Regina George thing, you know?

What is a home phone?

Group texts do kinda suck. It’s awkward when I type a general question to a solid six people and NOT ONE OF THEM responds. It’s also awkward when two people have some type of side conversation no one else in the chat really understands, and the two of them are fully aware that no one else understands, but they continue to discuss it openly anyway. A group chat can, if desired, be used as a weapon of mass destruction in girl world. Cady Heron would find herself Amanda Bynes-status in that situation. Literally, she’d just skip the level of Miley’s little salvia video and head right to throwing things like her African tribal vase and her Lady Smith Black Mambazo tickets or whatever out of her midtown high rise window.

A group text is like a bad boyfriend—always better to have something awkward, rude, and annoying than to have nothing, right?



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