Flavor of the Week: Eliza Thornberry

I thought a nice way to introduce this week’s flavor would be to look up her definition on Urban Dictionary. However, I am quite disappointed by my findings:


That hoe from The Wild Thornberrys.

Where’s Darwin? He’s playing hide and go get in the jungle with Eliza. Eliza who? Eliza Thornberry.”

Not that great. But whatever. Eliza is still my spirit animal. I know I say that about a lot of things, like when I told everyone I really thought I was Amelia Earhart reincarnated, but I mean it this time. Eliza brings out the wild side in all of us, and thats why I’ve personally nominated her to be Flavor of the Week.

These are the things I love about Eliza and give her major props for:

1. She travels the whole world and manages to just take it all in without having a single panic attack or using Skype Minutes/Whatsapp.

2. She travels the world while wearing braces. My biggest question–girl, where the hell do you find an orthodontist in Africa?????

I wonder if she breaks her wires by chewing on forest nuts?????

3. She’s pantsless. Her insect-repellant (and human-repellant) oversized turtleneck flaunts her knobby knees. So chic.

“So… you admit it? You think you’re pretty?”

4. She managed to, somehow, be her father’s daughter without inheriting that awful Jewish nose.


5. She talks to animals better than I talk to humans.

Eliza has an older sister, Debbie, who always wore her long, curly blonde hair over a solid half of her face. I never understood why she did this, but I used to walk around purposely trying to untuck my hair from behind my ear so that it would hang just like that, right in front of my eye. Lolz.

Debbie reminds me of me if I were Ke$ha.

Last month I auditioned for a play by reading Eliza’s monologue from the opening credits of The Wild Thornberrys. I got a lead role. That speaks for itself. Love you, Liza.


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