On Muploading

Ah, “muploading.” The classic mups. Muppy-mup on a Saturday night. Yo let’s take some muploads. Mupload that, betch. Don’t worry, obv already muploaded it. 

You all know what it is, but if you don’t I’ll break it down for you. Muploading is the act of mobile uploading (hence, the term mupload) in which one take a photo with her phone and then posts it to Facebook for the social media world to see. Since the bitches got Blackberries back when we were thirteen, muploading has been a “thing.” It has transformed Facebook from a library of photos from your Bat Mitzvah montage into a constantly updated source of answering all your who-what-when-where-why questions duty free.


A mupload from my own personal collection of me looking like an insane mofo and my BFF Nicole doing her thang. Also some blonde photobombing which is pretty rude.

The concept of muploading, while I admit to taking hefty part in it, brings about many, many questions. Why must we let everyone know where we are and what we are doing 24/7? Taking this a step further, why are we, the muploaders, then checking our News Feeds to see everyone else’s muploads like we’re stalking researching for a sociology project on the modern JAP? Not only do we want everyone to know about us, but we want to know about everyone. This vicious cycle of give and take is eating us alive like a voracious babe with a cup of fat free Pinkberry.

A part of the desire to mupload is the subconscious idea that we need to show everyone proof we were that drunk, or ate that much sushi, or hooked up with that many random guys the last time we visited our BFFs at Michigan… Obviously, all things young ladies like us are just striving to be proud of!!! I’m sure all of you are denying this statement, but we all know it’s true. We want to prove to the world just how cool we are. Philosophers a long time ago deflowered the idea of the selfish and egocentric human. Well, I’m deflowering that of the typical low-confidence, self conscious girl with a fairly trendy wardrobe and an iPhone. This girl lives somewhere inside all of us, whether we like it or not.

Upon the breakdown of a mupload, the most disappointing thing to me in all of this is that Facebook basically isn’t real. It has become a harbor of this wretched mess. Everything we post and upload is carefully planned and posed. We choose only certain photos to post, and only make a status if we know it’ll get at least, like, 10 likes MINIMUM. And why would anyone ever post a picture if it didn’t a) make themselves look hot b) would get a lot of likes/comments or c) both of the previous.

Ladies, tell me. What has the point of Facebook become?

DISCLAIMER: I, by no means, will deny that I am a muploader and an obsessive compulsive Facebooker. We are all in this thing together, like bros from High School Musical.

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